I have been reading up on Dr Gary Chapman’s ‘The Five Love Languages’ following some brilliant couples counselling training I undertook recently. Chapman believes that there are five different ways we express and experience love:
1. Receiving gifts
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Acts of Service
4. Physical Touch
5. Quality time
According to Chapman, once we discover our partners’ ‘Language of Love’ we can improve communication and demonstrate caring for the other person in a language they understand.
After learning about such a simple but effective theory, I was thrilled to discover Dr Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell have also adapted this model for children! Each child will express and receive love in a different way, so by understanding the Love Language of our children we can also improve our relationship with them and ensure they feel loved.
Alongside their book ‘The 5 love Languages of Children’, they have also created an online quiz to complete with your child (Ages 9-12) should you feel comfortable to explore this. The language used is American in places but it may really help to connect with your child in a different way.
Here are some explanations of the Languages taken from the Quiz profiles:
People with the love language of quality time like it when others do things with them like play a game, watch television, or go on a day out.
Words of Affirmation
People whose love language is words of affirmation like for others to use words to tell them that they are special and that they do a good job.
People whose love language is physical touch like to receive hugs, kisses, and high-fives.
Acts of Service
A person whose love language is acts of service likes it when others do nice things for them such as helping with chores, helping with school projects, or driving them places.
People with the love language of gifts feel good when someone gives them a special present or surprise.